Tag Archives: stress management

Chatter – why talking to yourself matters

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If you are reading this, think for a moment as to what you are doing……… are you sounding out the words in your head or did you pause, reflect and ask yourself “what exactly am I doing?”, either way you have been using your inner voice, your internal dialogue or have been experiencing what Ethan Kross calls Chatter.

Ethan is the Professor of Psychology and Management at the University of Michigan and author of a book called Chatter, the voice in our head and how to harness it.

On the one hand this might all seem a little strange, how many people would you ask what they have been talking to themselves about today, perhaps you wouldn’t because it’s too personal a question or maybe you don’t want to admit you do it all of the time. The good news is its perfectly normal and the vast majority of people talk to themselves. It’s worth adding however that not everyone has an internal voice, with some suggesting that this might be more likely for people with dyslexia.

Where does it come from?
Evolution would suggest that if we have this ability, it must serve a purpose. Mark Scott from the University of British Columbia has found evidence that a brain signal called “corollary discharge” plays an important role in our experiences of internal speech. Corollary discharge arises when the brain generates an internal copy of the sound of our voice in parallel to the external sound we hear. Its purpose is to prevent confusion between a self-caused sound or sensation for example, a dog growling noise inside our head and an externally-caused sound, for example a real dog growling who is about to bite. If both are the same, we run pretty fast, if not the brain will cancel the internal sound. This is the reason we can’t tickle ourselves; the brain sends a signal that we are going to tickle ourselves before we actually do, effectively cancelling the sensation.

Interestingly children don’t develop this skill until around 6 or 7 although its gradual and starts much earlier. This is the reason a young child will just say what they think, regardless of the consequences!

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” Steve Jobs

Why it matters and what you can do?
One of the most powerful tools to help manage stress, wellbeing and self-esteem is your inner voice, and examinations provide a rich environment where without support all of these can bring you down. Heightened dialogue is not of course just experienced when studying or in the exam room, how was it possible that Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka missed penalties in the Euros. Maybe it was the result of too much chatter, telling themselves that they must score, they have to score, the country is relying on them?

“Non-judgment quiets the internal dialogue, and this opens once again the doorway to creativity.” Deepak Chopra

And this is where Ethan Kross offers a whole raft of advice. He talks about having the ability to step back from the Chatter by adopting a broader, calmer and more objective perspective. You also need to listen to what your saying, low self esteem for example can easily develop if you are continually criticising yourself, perhaps as a thoughtless parent might do, always finding fault no matter what.

Here are a few of the practical tools in the book.

  1. Use distanced self-talk – rather than saying “why can’t I do this”, use your name in the second person “why is it that Stuart can’t do this”. This results in reduced activation in brain networks associated with negative thoughts.
  2. Imagine advising a friend – this has a similar impact in that it helps you view the experience from a distance. “I know this is a tricky question but you’ve been in a similar situation before and you figured it out”. This is also an example of what Kross calls time travel, (temporal distancing) either going forward in time to look in the rear-view mirror at the problem, effectively leaving it behind or travelling back to a time when you were successful.
  3. Broaden your perspective – in this situation, compare what you’re worrying about with other adverse events or ask what other people would do in the same situation. A variation on the “what would Jesus do?” question.
  4. Reinterpreted your bodies chatter response – when you experience stress its likely your heart rate will increase and you will begin to sweat. Becoming aware of this can lead you to conclude that you are stressed which in fact makes the situation worse. Kross suggest you tell yourself that this is not bad news but the body doing what it has to in order to help you.

And finally, if you want to find out more, check out this video, Do you have an inner voice?

COVID Time – spend (£) it wisely

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If you asked a group of students what was one of their biggest problems, many would say – lack of time.  

Now it’s unfair to highlight this as something unique to students, we all suffer from a lack of time. A look across the virtual bookshelves for titles that make reference to Time Management will give you some idea as to how many people are looking for solutions to this problem.

Life in the UK and across the world has changed as a result of Covid 19, one of those changes has been a disruption to normality. No longer does your alarm go off at 7.00 am, which is essential if you are to have a shower, grab some breakfast and be at your desk for 9.00 am. No longer do you have to leave the office at 5.05pm to be on the train for 5.30 pm, which will give you a fighting chance of being home for 7.00 pm. If your studying on the evening this strict time management regime will permit an evening meal and provide two hours of effective study before you go to bed.

Of course, your day may not be anything like this, in fact it’s possible you are busier than ever, but for many Covid has reset normality, effectively putting a line through what you were doing and replacing it with……time. The secret of course is not to waste it, reflect on what you were doing and think carefully before you fill the space with other activities, spend this time wisely on what is most important to you!

“The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.”   Stephen R. Covey

Thinking about time – it doesn’t really fly
Time is in itself an interesting concept, the Greeks had two words for it, Chronos which refers to the more traditional understanding as with a clock or calendar, it is measurable and predictable. Kairos on the other hand considers the human perspective, how we experience time, the quality of time, finding the “right time” to start studying perhaps. This perception of time is explained neurologically by the way the brain changes, impacted by neurotransmitters and chemical stimulants. When neurons are fired more quickly time will go faster, fire them slowly and time will drag. See also Circadian rhythms. This might help explain why there is never enough time for interesting subjects but too much for boring ones.

Impact on studying
Several studies indicate that students who manage their time not only perform better in the exam but experience less stress. There is also evidence that students are not good at managing their schedules, finding it difficult to strike the right balance between studying and the other demands on their time. This lack of balance often leads to disrupted sleep patterns and higher levels of stress. It may well be that “pulling an all-nighter” a common solution to running out of time is in effect a coping strategy to compensate for the lack of good time management skills. Interestingly, students are well aware of the problem, Ling, Heffernan, and Muncer (2003) found that time management was often stated as being a factor in poor exam performance.

One caveat, it’s possible that the research only shows a correlation not a causation, “good students” who would do well in the exam anyway just happen to plan, prioritise and stick to deadlines. These skills are not contributing to those higher grades, they are simply incidental behaviours. That said if “good students” manage time well and in the absence of anything to the contrary, maybe it’s worth doing anyway?

“The common man is not concerned about the passage of time, the man of talent is driven by it.”  Arthur Shoppenhauer, German philosopher

Making the most of your C time
But what can you do to improve your ability to get things done in this newly discovered Covid time? There are many tips and techniques that can help, below are a few of the best ones.

Planning backwards – this is probably one of the most effective. Start by asking the question, when do I want to pass the exam, if its June 2021, put that date in your calendar or planner. Then ask another question, how much do I need to learn before then? To give some idea as to how you might answer this, break down what you have to learn into chunks, looking at how many chapters there are in the book is one way of doing this. Then ask, if there are 10 chapters when do I have to start, assuming for example each one will take a month. Hopefully you get the idea, at each stage you ask a question breaking the larger activity into a series of smaller ones. This not only makes each task more manageable it provides a month by month plan that will lead all the way to the exam.

Using technology – often technology is seen as a problem, a distraction, when it comes to getting things done. But there are some very useful apps available these days to help better manage time.

  • Google calendar – other calendars are of course available but Google provides one of the most effective planning tools on the market. Not only is it free but it performs equally well across all devices from phone to desktop. This is the place to put those key dates and deadlines that came from the planning process.
  • Trello –  is effectively a project management tool or as some have described it “Post-it notes on steroids.” It can help capture ideas and organise thoughts with the added advantage they can easily be shared with others who can also contribute in real time.
  • Remember the milk – is extremely helpful for making lists and as with Trello can also be shared. It includes the ability to set reminders and integrates with Gmail, Google Calendar and Evernote.
  • StayFocused – is a blocking app, available on the chrome browser that temporarily blocks the internet except for the websites you give an exception.

Prioritisation – Choosing what you should spend time on is called prioritisation. One technique that many people have found useful is the Eisenhower decision matrix. So, called because Dwight D. Eisenhower is said to have used it to help him make better decisions by organising and prioritising his workload.

A simple 2 by 2 matrix that has the level of urgency on one side set against the level of importance on the other.

It’s relatively self-explanatory but one of the most important messages is the need to make time for tasks that are important but not urgent. If something is important and urgent you have to do it now but there is danger with some activities that they are never urgent, the result, they are constantly put off. For example, starting to study, this is incredibly important especially if you want to pass the exam in June 2021, but because it’s not urgent you can always start tomorrow.

I will leave you with one final quote about time from Bill Keane the American cartoonist which I have always found insightful.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.”

Enjoy your gift…..

Time management skills have been shown to have a positive impact on student learning and student outcomes (Kearns & Gardiner, 2007; Kelly, 2002; McKenzie & Gow, 2004)
Many students find it hard to regulate both their studies and their external lives (Van der Meer, Jansen, & Torenbeek, 2010)

Stress or Pressure – Don’t let the bridge collapse

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Releasing PressureI have long been interested in the way knowledge from one domain can help inform another and have had two very good examples of this recently, both leading in the same direction.

 

 

The first came from an engineering friend of mine who started a conversation about the meaning of stress and pressure in his world. He described stress and pressure as essentially the same except being applied in different forms. Pressure is applied on the external surface of a body, while stress is the internal resistive force per unit area of that body, which resists its elongation or compression.

Alternatively – Stress is generated within the material whereas pressure is the applied force.

The second example came from a stress management seminar* I recently attended, not so abstract you might say but it wasDont let the bridge collapse the analogy the presenter used that was interesting. He asked that we thought of a bridge, the cars going over the bridge created pressure on the bridge and as a result the bridge would experience stress.

No matter how strong the bridge, there was a point that if too many cars were on at any one time it would collapse.

How does this help?

Analogies can be very helpful where it’s difficult to conceptualise or understand complex ideas. For example the bridge will show signs of stress before it collapses. This is no different for people; signs of stress will be present well before the stress levels are high enough to cause problems e.g. short temper, lack of sleep, headaches etc.  Also if we carry on with the analogy, there are two ways in which you can make sure the bridge doesn’t collapse. One, don’t have so many cars on the bridge and two, support the bridge so that it can take more cars. This translates into reducing the number of external pressures you are under (less cars) and having coping strategies to help when you are under pressure (some support).

Pressures when studying

A lot of pressures when studying are time related, for example taking on too many subjects or having to study as well as holding down a responsible job.  But some pressure might be created by the way you feel about yourself, not being capable or clever enough. Also people often put themselves under pressure – interesting term “putting yourself under pressure” by having very high expectations or maybe those expectations are put upon them by others.

The simple answer – take some of the cars off the bridge, reduce the number of subjects your studying, lower your expectations etc. This is not to say that having high expectations is not good, but if it is affecting your performance in a negative way, then you have to do something. And I know it may not be easy to do this in all circumstances; do you step down from that responsible job, how practical is that?  Yet if you do nothing, the bridge will collapse and that has to be avoided at all costs.

The alternative to taking cars off the bridge is to add in extra support.

Strategies to cope

Lazarus and Folkman in 1984 suggested that stress is the result of an “imbalance between demands and resources” or results when “pressure exceeds one’s perceived ability to cope”. They came up with two types of coping responses.

Emotion-focused – These techniques work very well when the stress is or at least appears to be outside the individual’s control.

  • Keep yourself busy to take your mind off the issue – just keep working through the course
  • Let off steam to other students/partners, anyone who will listen in fact
  • Pray for guidance and strength – and why not
  • Ignore the problem in the hope it will go away – not always ideal but the problem may sort itself
  • Distract yourself – go for a run
  • Build yourself up to expect the worse – “I will probably fail anyway”

Problem-focused – These techniques aim to remove or reduce the cause of the stress.  These are similar to taking cars off the bridge.

  • Take control – being out of control is often the cause of much stress. Revaluate what the problem is, and ask is it worth it!
  • Information seeking, perhaps the most rational action. Find out what is causing the problem and look to solve it e.g. why do you have such high expectations, does it help?
  • Make a list, evaluate the pros and cons and put in order of importance.

Studying can be stressful and this can result in feeling under pressure but this is not altogether a bad thing stress and pressure are key motivational forces, so don’t think of stress as the enemy but watch out for any cracks that might appear in the bridge.

Watch this TED – Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend.

Related posts – Exam stress – or is it your stress and Exam stress – Mindfulness and the “7/11”

* The course was delivered by the stress management society – click here for their website.